HOW TO DEAL WITH OUR EMOTIONS?

Although we have grown older - beyond the 'teenage', we more often fail to grow beyond 'teenage' mentally. You know, our body grows in a particular sequence. In the first seven years, the physical body grows but the intellect does not grow; then up to fourteen years, the intellect grows. The period from 14 to 21 years is for emotional maturity.

So the general belief is that you become physically mature, then intellectually mature and finally, you become emotionally mature.

However, many do not grow to that maturity at all. Lack of emotional maturity is always worrying about your emotions - feeling as though you are a victim of your own emotions: "Oh! I feel like this! I feel like that! What to do?" What will you do? Who cares about your feelings?

Why do you worry so much about your feelings?

Your feelings keep changing. Sometimes you feel bad; but the bad feeling doesn't stay with you forever. It changes and you start feeling good once again; but even that 'good' feeling does not stay forever. Nobody can feel bad or good ALL the time; the good and bad feelings come like waves. You can't stop a wave that has already arisen; nor can you make a wave rise just like that. Just as waves come and go, clouds come and go, so also emotions come and go.. Waves of different emotion come. And they disappear.

Sign of emotional immaturity:
But we make it such a big issue:
"Oh, I feel good! Oh, I feel bad!
I feel this way, I feel that way, nobody cares for me…" - all these complaints keep bombarding our minds. This emotional garbage is so useless; and it is also a sign of emotional immaturity.

A complete Personality :

1 : Emotional maturity
2 : intellectual maturity
3 : physical maturity;
you need all these three 'maturities' to be a complete personality.
Are you sharp and focused?
Are you interested in learning and in growth?

If yes, you have matured intellectually. And once you have matured intellectually, do not let emotional immaturity cloud your intellect. By the age of 21, you're supposed to be emotionally and physically strong, and intellectually sharp. Hence, you acquire the right to vote, because you are supposed to be mature - an adult. But this seldom happens!

But what is the big deal about your feelings?

I tell you, bundle them up and throw them into the ocean!

Once you are rid of your 'feelings' you can be happy, in good spirits. Just examine why your spirits go down? More likely than not because somebody said something stupid to you. And why did they say a stupid thing? Because they had some garbage they needed to throw out; and you were there, ready to catch it. And once you have caught it, you hold on to it so passionately! Come on! Wake up! Don't let your smile be snatched away by anybody!
Don't let your smile be snatched away by anybody
In this world, everything cannot be perfect all the time. Even the best, the greatest of actions, performed with the noblest of intentions, will have some imperfections. It is but natural. Unfortunately, the tendency of our mind is to grab the imperfection and hold on to it. And in the process, we end up making our moods, our minds imperfect. Our souls reel with this nonsense.

It is imperative to get out of these cycles, and to become strong and courageous from within. And that which gives you that strength, that courage, that smile and that helps you to become unconditionally happy and loving is what is called spirituality.

Cooking Oil: CHOOSE CORRECTLY AND USE CORRECTLY

How to choose a good one

Using oil in cooking is a big issue and concern for many people - concerning the amount of fat and cholesterol in the cooking oil. All oil is 100 percent fat. Fat is a high calorie food and there are 9 calories in each gram of fat. That means Fat contains more than twice the number of calories in protein or carbohydrates. From a weight loss viewpoint, all oils are equally 'bad' contain 100% fat and cutting back can help you stay in shape. As long as it is possible, better don’t use oils in the food preparation. If we cut oils in our diet then how are we going to get the essential fats for the body? The best answer for this is to eat the fatty food like peanuts, coconuts, sesame seeds, olives and avocados as they are. By extracting oil from them and using that oil in food will cause so many health problems. Eating them as it is, will give lot of vitamins, minerals fiber and lecithin in addition to oil.
In spite of knowing all this we all love the taste and flavour that oil brings to food. This article is for those who wish to use oil in their diet and still don’t want any health problems. Before I conclude anything about the best cooking oil, let’s have a glance at FATS.
FATS: 2 Types
1. GOOD FATS
2. BAD FATS
GOOD FATS: Good fats ra ethose which lower the LDL and total cholesterol levels in the blood. They can be Saturated or Un saturated.
1. Saturated fat: There is a myth or misconception that saturated fats are bad an they increase the levels of LDL cholesterol. The following list describes how saturated fats are
essential for the body. It is from a study entitled, “The Skinny on Fats,”
produced by theWeston A. Price Foundation.
a. Saturated fatty acids constitute at least 50% of the cell membranes. They give our cells necessary stiffness and integrity.
b. Saturated fats play a vital role in the health of our bones. For calcium to be effectively incorporated into the skeletal structure, at least 50% of the dietary fats should be saturated.
c. Saturated fats lower lipoprotein (a), which is a substance in the blood that indicates proneness to heart disease.
d. Saturated fats protect the liver from alcohol and other toxins.
e. Saturated fats enhance the immune system.
f. Saturated fats are needed for the proper utilization of essential fatty acids. And essential Omega 3 fatty acids are better retained in the tissue when the diet is rich in saturated fats.

2. Monounsaturated fat: Monounsaturated fats lower total cholesterol and LDL cholesterol (the bad cholesterol) and increase the HDL cholesterol (the good cholesterol).
3. Polyunsaturated Fat: Polyunsaturated fats also lower total cholesterol and LDL cholesterol. Omega 3 fatty acids belong to this group.
BAD FATS: They raise both total and LDL cholesterol and also decrease “good” high-density lipid (HDL) cholesterol levels.
4. Trans Fat: All the oils you mention are highly processed and go rancid as they are not stable. Unsaturated means that there are double bonds. Mono unsaturated means there is just one double bond. Double bonds are easily broken. So to make them stable for longer duration of time, hydrogenation is done. It is a process of bubblibg hydrogen gas over the oil and this process makes fat saturated. During this hydrogenation process Trans fats are generated which cause all the health problems. So its called bad fat. Following are the debilitating effects of trans fat on the body.
1. Raise the atherogenic lipoprotein (a) in humans (increases blockages in the arteries)
2. Raise total serum cholesterol levels 20-30mg%
3. Lower the amount of cream (volume) in milk from lactating females in all species studied
4. Increase blood insulin levels in humans in response to glucose load, increasing risk for diabetes
5. Increase insulin resistance thus having an undesirable effect in diabetics
6. Affect immune response by lowering efficiency of B cell response
7. Decrease levels of testosterone in male animals, increase level of abnormal sperm, and interfere with gestation in females
8. Cause alterations in cell membranes, including membrane fluidity
9. Cause alterations in fat cell size, cell number, and fatty acid composition
10. Escalate adverse effects of essential fatty acid deficiencies

Therefore, based on the above classification, the "ideal" cooking oil should contain higher amount of monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats and with minimal or no saturated fats and trans fats.
The following table lists various oils in decreasing order of monounsaturated fat content.

Based on the above, the following may be recommended with regard to the best cooking oil: As long as you're using fats and oils sparingly in your cooking and preparation, it would be fine to use any one of the good oils above. But based on their smoke point we can use the oils in following way.

For deep frying foods: The best oils are those with a high smoke point such as canola oil, corn oil, safflower oil, sunflower oil. The smoke point of unrefined oil is lower than the values mentioned in the above table.
For stir-frying and salad dressing: any oil low in saturated fat like canola oil, corn oil, or flax seed oil, olive oil, peanut oil, safflower oil, sunflower oil and walnut oil.
Oils to avoid: coconut oil, palm oil, butter, hard margarine.